Women in Agriculture, Part 3

This was originally going to be one extremely long blog post.  I have shortened it to 4 shorter posts.

I'd like to take this opportunity to talk about what it is really like to be a female farmer.  In an attempt to order my thoughts and (maybe) avoid ranting, I have organized this discussion into 4 basic topics.

You can read about the first 2 topics relating to being a female farmer here:

1. Dealing With People's Perceptions
2. Female Farmer Support Groups

3. The Daily Realities of Life

Reality 1:  Men are Everywhere

Because I work in agriculture, I cannot avoid men.  They are everywhere.  They are mostly old, but there are also some near my age.  Most of the time I am terrified of talking to men (especially if they are strangers), but I have to do it.  It's like climbing the grain bin.  I don't want to do it.  I'm afraid of heights.  I still have to do it.  When it's all over, I feel pretty good about myself for not being a wimp and avoiding my responsibilities.

Reality 2:  Men are Pretty Great 

I discovered this at college.  Being in the agricultural program, I was always surrounded by young men.  There were also a lot of young women, some of whom became my good friends.  However, the men were unavoidable.  Eventually I befriended a few of them.  Actually, that's not true.  They befriended me because I was too scared to talk to them.  They also dug my car out of a snow bank.  And teased me mercilessly.  And talked to me about farming as if it was a totally normal thing to do.  I could go on.  

Since coming home, I have continued to find instances of men being superb human beings while interacting with them in agricultural settings.  Allow me to expound on one such experience.  A few weeks ago, I had a birthday.  To celebrate I went to town to do business instead of taking care of work at home.  One of my business stops was in the next town over, where I met with a salesman to talk about a particular piece of equipment that I would very much like to buy if I can ever afford it.  It's on my wish list.  Anyways, I called ahead to make sure the salesman would be in when I got there because I was not going to drive 45 minutes for nothing.  He said he'd be around and sounded keen to talk to me.  When I arrived, I had to wait for quite some time while the salesman finished up with another customer.  Finally it was my turn.  I timidly ambled into the sales office and was rather surprised to see a young man about my age sitting behind the desk.  He welcomed me and immediately got down to business talking about the piece of equipment I had mentioned in the phone call.  I don't know if it was because he was really excited about that particular brand, or if he was used to dealing with women, but he never batted an eye at my age or gender.  He just gave me the information I needed, answered my questions, and gave me suggestions of other resources I could check for more information.  When I got home my mom asked if the salesman had treated me differently because I am a woman.  I was pleased to be able to honestly say that it felt like I had been having a conversation with one of my male friends from college.  We just had a conversation about farming.  There is prejudice in the agriculture industry, but I continue to be pleasantly surprised by how little of that prejudice comes from the men with whom I interact.

Reality 3:  I am Weaker than the Average Man
I am 5'2" when I stand up as straight as I possibly can.  I can win an arm wrestling competition with some of my female friends, but my male friends can beat me without even trying.  I struggle to close gates that my dad can close with barely any effort.  It would be a lie for me to say that farming is just as hard for the men as it is for me.  I do have a harder time doing some things, partly because I'm weaker than the men, and partly because farm equipment is just not made for short folks.  I just have to find different ways of doing some things, and that's okay.

Reality 4:  I Cry Sometimes

I hate crying.  When I was a child I cried a lot and sometimes got in trouble when teachers and parents just couldn't deal with my emotions anymore.  Eventually I taught myself not to cry and to just bottle up my emotions.  That's certainly not healthy, but it is how I deal with emotions.  Even so, I do cry sometimes at work.  The annoying part is that I don't cry when I'm sad; I cry when I'm frustrated or angry.  Any woman can tell you that it is incredibly annoying to start crying when you just want to be angry for a moment.  I cannot tell you how many times I cried over not being able to open a tight gate, or back up properly, or get the cows to go where I need them to go.  I don't cry over these things because they discourage me.  I get frustrated, like any farmer, and then I start crying with absolutely no control over the tear tap and then I get more frustrated and it's a vicious cycle.  Men don't seem to have this crying-when-they're-frustrated/angry problem.  It feels terribly unfair sometimes.  

Reality 5:  People are Annoying
People are annoying when they try to do things for me because they think I can't do it myself.  People are annoying when they say I shouldn't farm because it's a man's job.  People are annoying when they say they support me, even though there is no practical way for them to actually do so.  People are annoying when they demand that their food be hormone-free, antibiotic-free, vegetarian, organic, environmental, sustainable, etc., etc.  People are annoying, but I have to work with them, and when I do, I find myself learning more, making an impact, and gaining just a little more wisdom.

You can read about the last topic relating to being a female farmer here:

4. Thinking About the Future